My diapers are bloody

Who farted?

I returned from Europe yesterday. MrsBloodyDiapers and myself spent the last few weeks in Paris and Amsterdam. It was a fine trip aside from a few rainy days in Amsterdam and all the fucking Chinese tourists. The Chinese are really out of hand. They travel in packs, or hoards of no less than 10. They seem to be everywhere, and they invade otherwise peaceful places like the Louvre or Notre Damn, spreading their loathsome stench like plague. Now don't get me wrong, I like an egg roll, or some hot and sour soup as much as the next guy, but enough is enough. They were fucking everywhere in Paris, and I gotta tell ya, the last time I went to go and see the Mona Lisa there wasn't a hoard of Chinamen 20 deep writhing in front of it like so many noodles in a plate of Cantonese chow mein.

There were no Chinese in Amsterdam, but there were plenty of sleazy weirdos, otherwise known as the British and Germans. Don't get me wrong, I love Amsterdam, the Dutch are wonderful people when they aren't ripping you off, (2 and a half fucking Euros for a bottle of water, what the fuck?), or killing the Jews, (pre-WWII Amsterdam Jewish population = 90,000 / post-WWII Amsterdam Jewish population = 5500)
and lets face it, the dope is great.

I went to a few "Coffee Shops" and smoked my face off. They only bad part about getting high in Amsterdam is that you have to do it in a coffee shop. They are horrible places. They are all dark and dank, and they play the shittiest music know to man, (aka trance or some kinda techno bullshit). But the pot prices are reasonable and the quality of the stuff can't be beat. If you ever go there, get high and then get the hell out of the tourist areas (the red light district and Leidseplein) and check out the "Old South". That's a real nice part of town where you can find excellent Kurdish food.

In Paris I spent $24.00 CND on hamburger. If that's not an reason to hate the french I don't know what is.