Thursday, February 02, 2006
MORE FISA FUN: IF THE PROGRAM IS LEGAL, WHY WON'T THEY SAY HOW?
I work in what's known as "Information Technology", or "IT". I call it computer programming, but that term isn't really fashionable these days. Anyways, what this means is that I work with a lot of immigrants. Now I don't want you to take what I'm about to write the wrong way. I am in no way anti-immigrant. My country needs people desperately for a variety of reasons. After all, who's going to do my dry cleaning, or drive my taxi, or operate my local rub and tug, or vote against serparation in Quebec, or stink up the subway car I happen to be riding on, if not immigrants? Natural born Canadians (aka "the whitest people on earth) just aren't cut out for such tasks.
In no way does what I write below reflect or discuss my current workplace.
Mostly I work with people from India/Pakistan, China, and Eastern Europe. It's my opinion that if forced to work with these groups of people it is best to work with the Indian/Pakistanies, (that is in large groups). Now I don't want you to start thinking that I'm not a friend of the Chinaman, because I am. I've even spoken to MrsBloodyDiapers about purchasing a baby Chinaman instead of her birthing a child for us. There are many advantages of having a Chinese baby. For instances, when he gets to be four or five, we could dress him up like Chairman Mao, or Uncle Ho Chee Minh, and have him do little dances and sing revolutionary songs for our friends. Wouldn't you like to go to a dinner party and see a tiny Chairman Mao dance a jig while singing the Internationale? I could also build him a little dry cleaning counter, and he could play "Mr. Dry Cleaner". This would give him a chance to investigate all the abiguities of Chinese esoterica.
But I digress...let me return to the main subject of this post, that being a discussion of "The IT Immigrants".
Indians/Pakistanies - As I pointed out above, these are the best to work with. I find them to be the most co-operative, as well as possessing the best communication skills, (on average). Most of the Indians/Pakistanies I've worked with have displayed a sound understaning of Western society, and avoid bring their native culture, and/or religion into the office. It's not that I have anything against whatever the fuck their culture is all about, it's just that I believe that one must engage in a certain degree of assimilation when one immigrates to a new country and the new host culture must triumph in a work situation.
Chinese - The Chinese can be ok to work with, but only in small groups. As one Chinese woman that I worked with put it, "too many Chinese is bad...very bad". First off, the Chinese seem to work in packs, and the packs are closed societies. Individually they are usually ok, but in groups they often committ severe faux pas'. Chiefly they will engage in discussion using thier native language instead of English. If they wish to gabber in their monkey language when discussing non-work related issues that's fine with me, but when it involves work and native English speakers are involved, English should be used exclusively. The Chinese are the only group that I've ever come across that will use Mandarin in a discussion which includes non-Mandarin speakers. The Chinese are also the only group I know of that will set up a closed sub-culture within the work space. They like to spend time with their own, and see nothing wrong with excluding others. They will go out of their way to alienate non-Chinese people who make any attempt to enter their subculture. On top of all this, half of them can't program worth a damn and their lunches often smell like the inside of something's asshole. More than once I have found myself dry-heaving at the thought of someone actually eating whatever the fuck it was I was smelling.
Eastern/Europeans - Not bad to work with, if you don't take them too seriously. Half of them have some sort of advanced engineering degree, or phd in mathematics, but are severely limited in their understanding of Western culture. Even ones that have been here for 10 years have no understanding of Western economics. One guy from Slovakia, who was a really nice person and a top notch programmer to boot, insisted to me that banks should be totally unregulated in Canada. When I asked him why, he claimed that deregulation = good economics. When I pointed out the "Savings & Loan" disaster back in the 80's he had no idea what I was talking about and just sort of stared at me, not blinking, or understanding what I ment by "historical context". Another guy from the ex-Yugoslavia told me that it's good that Canada has a high dollar, as that is the sign of a strong economy. I told him that if the dollar is too high in value, it will hurt our economy, as we are an export nation dependant on our natural resources and manufacturing. He responded by stating that it's good that Canada has a high dollar, as that is the sign of a good economy. What a fascinating insight. Eastern Europeans also have a problem with toothpaste, that being that they don't seem to use it, or brush their teeth at all. Most Russian women I've worked with look pretty much like whores. They dress and/or act like they'll give you a hand job in the server room for $10.00. I know why the Soviet Union fell apart. I honestly don't believe that it had anything to do with any problems with communist theory. It was because it was implemented by Russians. Honest Russians are like leprechauns. Some people believe in them, but most of us know the truth. Here's a typical Russian move, fake your resume, and get your friends to be references from the companies you invent to verify the skills that you don't have. That's great. Don't you love working with people who don't have any fucking idea what they're doing?
One point that extends to all of these groups, and even other groups not discussed directly here is that at some point in time they will usually tell you about how great their home nation is. My question is this; if your country is so fucking great what the fuck are you doing here? Face facts people, you're from a loser country and you came here either because you and people like you fucked your country up, or the bastards running the place, ran you and you type out. I'm not sure why we let certain groups into our country. They fucked their countries up, and now we're suppose to let them into our country so they can fuck it up as well?
Isn't it remarkable how I write what you think?
In no way does what I write below reflect or discuss my current workplace.
Mostly I work with people from India/Pakistan, China, and Eastern Europe. It's my opinion that if forced to work with these groups of people it is best to work with the Indian/Pakistanies, (that is in large groups). Now I don't want you to start thinking that I'm not a friend of the Chinaman, because I am. I've even spoken to MrsBloodyDiapers about purchasing a baby Chinaman instead of her birthing a child for us. There are many advantages of having a Chinese baby. For instances, when he gets to be four or five, we could dress him up like Chairman Mao, or Uncle Ho Chee Minh, and have him do little dances and sing revolutionary songs for our friends. Wouldn't you like to go to a dinner party and see a tiny Chairman Mao dance a jig while singing the Internationale? I could also build him a little dry cleaning counter, and he could play "Mr. Dry Cleaner". This would give him a chance to investigate all the abiguities of Chinese esoterica.
But I digress...let me return to the main subject of this post, that being a discussion of "The IT Immigrants".
Indians/Pakistanies - As I pointed out above, these are the best to work with. I find them to be the most co-operative, as well as possessing the best communication skills, (on average). Most of the Indians/Pakistanies I've worked with have displayed a sound understaning of Western society, and avoid bring their native culture, and/or religion into the office. It's not that I have anything against whatever the fuck their culture is all about, it's just that I believe that one must engage in a certain degree of assimilation when one immigrates to a new country and the new host culture must triumph in a work situation.
Chinese - The Chinese can be ok to work with, but only in small groups. As one Chinese woman that I worked with put it, "too many Chinese is bad...very bad". First off, the Chinese seem to work in packs, and the packs are closed societies. Individually they are usually ok, but in groups they often committ severe faux pas'. Chiefly they will engage in discussion using thier native language instead of English. If they wish to gabber in their monkey language when discussing non-work related issues that's fine with me, but when it involves work and native English speakers are involved, English should be used exclusively. The Chinese are the only group that I've ever come across that will use Mandarin in a discussion which includes non-Mandarin speakers. The Chinese are also the only group I know of that will set up a closed sub-culture within the work space. They like to spend time with their own, and see nothing wrong with excluding others. They will go out of their way to alienate non-Chinese people who make any attempt to enter their subculture. On top of all this, half of them can't program worth a damn and their lunches often smell like the inside of something's asshole. More than once I have found myself dry-heaving at the thought of someone actually eating whatever the fuck it was I was smelling.
Eastern/Europeans - Not bad to work with, if you don't take them too seriously. Half of them have some sort of advanced engineering degree, or phd in mathematics, but are severely limited in their understanding of Western culture. Even ones that have been here for 10 years have no understanding of Western economics. One guy from Slovakia, who was a really nice person and a top notch programmer to boot, insisted to me that banks should be totally unregulated in Canada. When I asked him why, he claimed that deregulation = good economics. When I pointed out the "Savings & Loan" disaster back in the 80's he had no idea what I was talking about and just sort of stared at me, not blinking, or understanding what I ment by "historical context". Another guy from the ex-Yugoslavia told me that it's good that Canada has a high dollar, as that is the sign of a strong economy. I told him that if the dollar is too high in value, it will hurt our economy, as we are an export nation dependant on our natural resources and manufacturing. He responded by stating that it's good that Canada has a high dollar, as that is the sign of a good economy. What a fascinating insight. Eastern Europeans also have a problem with toothpaste, that being that they don't seem to use it, or brush their teeth at all. Most Russian women I've worked with look pretty much like whores. They dress and/or act like they'll give you a hand job in the server room for $10.00. I know why the Soviet Union fell apart. I honestly don't believe that it had anything to do with any problems with communist theory. It was because it was implemented by Russians. Honest Russians are like leprechauns. Some people believe in them, but most of us know the truth. Here's a typical Russian move, fake your resume, and get your friends to be references from the companies you invent to verify the skills that you don't have. That's great. Don't you love working with people who don't have any fucking idea what they're doing?
One point that extends to all of these groups, and even other groups not discussed directly here is that at some point in time they will usually tell you about how great their home nation is. My question is this; if your country is so fucking great what the fuck are you doing here? Face facts people, you're from a loser country and you came here either because you and people like you fucked your country up, or the bastards running the place, ran you and you type out. I'm not sure why we let certain groups into our country. They fucked their countries up, and now we're suppose to let them into our country so they can fuck it up as well?
Isn't it remarkable how I write what you think?
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
BATTLE OF THE CELEBRITY RETARDS
You man have heard of Zanta. He's this fucking idiot who wanders Toronto wearing a Santa hat intimidating people with his crazy antics on the subways and in the streets. Well, I'm sad to report that Zanta doesn't appear to be doing very well. I saw him yesterday as I was returning to the Cosmodemonic Telecommunications Company, (my place of employment). First he was talking with some police constables, seemingly pleading with them about something. They didn't look very impressed, but let him go nonetheless. I saw Zanta again a few minutes later. He was bare chested and barking at people along the sidewalk. Zanta can be very intimidating as he's a big, well built guy. Now, I've seen Zanta many times, and even sat through his insane babbling on the subway once or twice, but yesterday there was something different about Zanta. He appeared much crazier and more threatening than usual as if he was on the verge of, or already embarking on some kind of mental breakdown.
Anyways, that's it. Just thought you'd want to know what's become of Zanta. I'll report back when I see him finally dead or dying in the gutter. Let's hope it' soon.
Anyways, that's it. Just thought you'd want to know what's become of Zanta. I'll report back when I see him finally dead or dying in the gutter. Let's hope it' soon.
