Wednesday, March 24, 2004
What the fucking shit?
Well, somebody finally listened to me.
My best friend Kilgore saw Wings of Desire, a Wim Wenders film.
The only problem is, he didn't "get it". What the fuck?
What isn't there to get?
Ok, first off, if you haven't seen the movie it's because your a fucking idiot, so I'm not going to lower myself to your pathetic level and explain it.
Kilgore what's the movie about?
The angel becomes human, he gives up divinity for the chick. Ok, the movie's about sacrifice.
And not just any sacrifice, but big ass motherfucking Old Testament wrath of God sacrifice.
The movie is beautifully shot. The idea of the angels just floating around hearing peoples thoughts, and the way that it is presented is wonderfully original.
If it wasn't original you would have assigned it a number like you do all that bullshit Hollywood formula shit you waste your time.
As for the peoples thoughts sounding like poetry, maybe Wenders is attempting to express beauty in the mundane. Or maybe, just maybe some people think about more than just processed food filled with hog anus, or how they can worm their slimey penis' into that waitress on the bus.
If you spent less time mentally raping women and more time reading Joyce on the toilet maybe you would be able to understand and appreciate a beautiful film like Wings of Desire.
And by the way, I don't read Joyce on the toilet. I don't read anything on the toilet. I never understood people who do. How much fucking time do you people need to spend in there? Frankly there are several more comfortable places to sit and read in my apartment.
My best friend Kilgore saw Wings of Desire, a Wim Wenders film.
The only problem is, he didn't "get it". What the fuck?
What isn't there to get?
Ok, first off, if you haven't seen the movie it's because your a fucking idiot, so I'm not going to lower myself to your pathetic level and explain it.
Kilgore what's the movie about?
The angel becomes human, he gives up divinity for the chick. Ok, the movie's about sacrifice.
And not just any sacrifice, but big ass motherfucking Old Testament wrath of God sacrifice.
The movie is beautifully shot. The idea of the angels just floating around hearing peoples thoughts, and the way that it is presented is wonderfully original.
If it wasn't original you would have assigned it a number like you do all that bullshit Hollywood formula shit you waste your time.
As for the peoples thoughts sounding like poetry, maybe Wenders is attempting to express beauty in the mundane. Or maybe, just maybe some people think about more than just processed food filled with hog anus, or how they can worm their slimey penis' into that waitress on the bus.
If you spent less time mentally raping women and more time reading Joyce on the toilet maybe you would be able to understand and appreciate a beautiful film like Wings of Desire.
And by the way, I don't read Joyce on the toilet. I don't read anything on the toilet. I never understood people who do. How much fucking time do you people need to spend in there? Frankly there are several more comfortable places to sit and read in my apartment.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Help
We'll you've probably heard the news by now.
My buddy Kilgore's girlfriend dumped him.
I'm afraid it's nothing but downhill for him. That is unless we help him.
If we don't he'll end up like Skippy; paying alzheimer victims for blow jobs, making little racing cars out of his poo, reading NEXUS Magazine 'n shit.
So what can we do? Well, really there's only one thing. Buy him a new girlfriend.
We gotta reach down deep and give everything we can.
I'm going to get the ball rolling with a donation of 5000 Turkish Lira. That's right 5000.
Please email me for details as to where you should direct your donations.
Please help. No deserves to end up like Skippy.
My buddy Kilgore's girlfriend dumped him.
I'm afraid it's nothing but downhill for him. That is unless we help him.
If we don't he'll end up like Skippy; paying alzheimer victims for blow jobs, making little racing cars out of his poo, reading NEXUS Magazine 'n shit.
So what can we do? Well, really there's only one thing. Buy him a new girlfriend.
We gotta reach down deep and give everything we can.
I'm going to get the ball rolling with a donation of 5000 Turkish Lira. That's right 5000.
Please email me for details as to where you should direct your donations.
Please help. No deserves to end up like Skippy.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Probably the Best Site on the Internet
Monday, March 08, 2004
All Fucking Day...
...I've had the words
"Wild as any freedom loving racist
I applaud the actions of the chief"
repeating in my head.
With those words repeating over and over, I could barely work today.
My mind was filled with visions of murdering my co-workers.
I can't decide whether it's me or my co-workers who should find another job.
"Wild as any freedom loving racist
I applaud the actions of the chief"
repeating in my head.
With those words repeating over and over, I could barely work today.
My mind was filled with visions of murdering my co-workers.
I can't decide whether it's me or my co-workers who should find another job.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Fuckin' Hell
So I've been fighting with MrsBloodyDiapers again.
Mostly we fight about my plans to put an extra large bidet in our kitchen. Am I the only person in the world who sometimes gets hungry when washing their ass?
Here is an actual conversation:
MrsBD: "You have gender issues."
MrBD : "What the fuck are you talking about? I think I know what gender I am. Unless my penis is some kinda hallucination."
MrsBD: "Fuck off."
End of converstaion.
Did I tell you that she's been known to punch me in the groin while I'm sleeping? If I suggest to her that she shouldn't do such things, her response is usually something like "Get tough or die.".
Anyways, that's enough about me.
What I'd really like to tell you about is my best friend. His name is Kilgore Trout, and he's the best buddy a guy could ever have. Sure he could call a little more, or send me emails more often, or even drop by my place once in a while for some fine German beer, but I know he's busy. You see that's one of the great things about Kilgore, (or Bonner as he likes to be called); he might act like he doesn't care. And he might even say he doesn't care. But he really does.
Kilgore's an interesting guy. He's obsessed with Azerbaijan, he gives a lot of money to "Bullets for Israel", and enjoys discussing his many philosophies concerning date rape.
Sometimes Kilgore says the coolest things. He'll just turn to me and say out of nowhere, "If I wasn't a white man, I'd pour bleach on my penis to purify myself".
Mostly we fight about my plans to put an extra large bidet in our kitchen. Am I the only person in the world who sometimes gets hungry when washing their ass?
Here is an actual conversation:
MrsBD: "You have gender issues."
MrBD : "What the fuck are you talking about? I think I know what gender I am. Unless my penis is some kinda hallucination."
MrsBD: "Fuck off."
End of converstaion.
Did I tell you that she's been known to punch me in the groin while I'm sleeping? If I suggest to her that she shouldn't do such things, her response is usually something like "Get tough or die.".
Anyways, that's enough about me.
What I'd really like to tell you about is my best friend. His name is Kilgore Trout, and he's the best buddy a guy could ever have. Sure he could call a little more, or send me emails more often, or even drop by my place once in a while for some fine German beer, but I know he's busy. You see that's one of the great things about Kilgore, (or Bonner as he likes to be called); he might act like he doesn't care. And he might even say he doesn't care. But he really does.
Kilgore's an interesting guy. He's obsessed with Azerbaijan, he gives a lot of money to "Bullets for Israel", and enjoys discussing his many philosophies concerning date rape.
Sometimes Kilgore says the coolest things. He'll just turn to me and say out of nowhere, "If I wasn't a white man, I'd pour bleach on my penis to purify myself".
