My diapers are bloody

I hope you all will excuse my not posting for a few days but there has been trouble in Bloody Diaper world.
I discovered that I have made an error in managing my company and personal taxes. So now I have to deal with RevCan.
I don't know if you've ever had the pleasure of attempting to figure out the Canadian tax system, but if you haven't, let me assure you it is much like
a horse chewing peanut butter, (if I may steal a analogy from our good friend Mr. Perot). For the most the people who work at RevCan are fairly nice.
They often answer the phone and are very diligent when it comes to sending you the proper forms to fill out. The main problem with RevCan is that both the people
and the documents use some secret code instead of English.

So what did I do? I was working under the assumption that I could just pay myself out of my corporation and then at the end of the year pay my tax bill, (this is how I did it before when I had a company that wasn't incorporated). But it turns out that I was suppose to be remitting my withholding taxes, (both Federal and Provincial), along with my CCP, (as the Owner of the company I am EI exempt), on a month basis, via my corporation.
Therefore I should have paid RevCan $11,030.08 up until this point instead of the $0 I have paid them.
So what I'd like to do is just cut them a cheque for the full amount and move forward paying them on a monthly basis.
But since my payments are technically late they may want me to pay a late penalty that could be upto $2000.00. But I can avoid the late penalty by claiming the money that I have paid to myself thus far,
not as employment income but instead as a "shareholder advance". This means I have a year to pay the money back to the corporation.
Then I could pay it back to myself as salary and remit the proper taxes at that time. What a pain in the ass.
I'd rather just give them their money now and be done with it.

The problem is, thus far, no one at RevCan can tell me if I will be penalized if I just cut them a cheque for the full amount. What the fuck kinda system is this.
Think of it this way. Someone owes you 11 grand. They want to pay you. But since they didn't pay you in the right way, you tell them they have to pay you 13 grand,
or they can pay you the 11 grand at the end of the year.

Well, I guess I'll call them again today and see if someone wants to take my money.

Hello faithful readers.
Although there are hundreds of thousands of you, I'd like each one of you to know that I love you.

Coming soon to "The Bloody Diapers Blog"... "Passages From an Idiot's Diary".
I'm sure you've heard of this unpublished, infamous work. And soon you'll be able to read it here.

Stay tuned.

Oh, yeah...one more thing. It turns out that it is ok to tell someone you about to have sex with that you need to make the sex quick because you have to take
a dump. Just in case you were wondering.

I think it was Julius Streicher who first said, "The more you try to help people, the more they try to shit in you mouth. Literally."
I have recently had such an experience.
A guy I know, lets call him S. Stalin...no that's too obivious, how about Skippy S, yes that's much better.
Anyways, Skippy S sends me this article that he wants to put online. So I read it and send it back to him with some criticisms. I don't know about anyone else, but when someone sends me a piece of writing I'll usually take the time to read and often provide feedback to the author. I do this for two reasons.

First because I'm pretty certain that most people the writing has been sent to won't read it, (this is primarily because most people are loathsome worms fit only for extermination). They just won't take the time away from feeling up their children, or experimenting with belladonna to bother investigating another person's opinion. I think that if the person went to the trouble of writing down their ideas the least I can do is sober up for a few minutes to read them.

Second I think the only polite thing to do is to point out the weaknesses in the person's work. How else will they know? It's only done to help the person make the writing stonger and not some kind of personal attack on the author or the work.

So I go ahead and do this. I send my criticisms back to Skippy S. And what do I get for my trouble? First he starts whining at his NAMBLA obsessed blog about how I alleged that his article sucked. I did no such thing. I mearly pointed out some areas in his work he may consider readdressing. This makes me the bad guy?

Then I wake up this morning, to find Skippy S in my bedroom, pantless and cramming laxatives down his throat. I know what he had in mind, so I kicked his white boy ass out of my home.

I guess that's what you get for trying to help people.

I've received several emails since posting my email address here and I'd like to take the opportunity to respond here.

Minnie from Monroe Louisiana writes that she is one of the people in this world who eats feces for a living. Apparently this type of employment doesn't pay very well or garner much respect from one's family. Minnie is 22 and she likes watch Fraser, putting unusual objects in her "body holes" and taking crystal meth.
Thanks for sharing Minnie.

Eddie from Altoona Pennsylvania wrote me to say sometimes he feels an array of sadness when he's feltching his uncle and he just doesn't know why.
Well Eddie sometimes feeling can be complicated and confusing. What you need to do is talk to you uncle about you feelings and I'm sure to two of you can work it all out.
You should never let a confusing feeling get in the way of what could be a meanful and long term relationship.

Lester from Boston Massachusetts asks "Is the word 'Hitler' a adjective?". The answer is no it's not Lester. But a sentence like "You're a brainless shit-fucking loser." may have one or two. Can you pick them out?

Speaking of shit-fucking, I'd like to hear from anyone who has experience in this type of behavior. Discretion is assured.

Mike from Toronto Canada is a lawyer but lives in his parents basement and is unemployed. He washed out of the law profession years ago. Prior to his law career he lived for a while in France with a beautiful woman he met at school. Her parents had money, (two summer homes), and she wanted him to spend the rest of his life with her in France. But he decided his law career was more important than an all expenses paid trip to France with a beautiful woman for the rest of his life. So back to Canada it was. Mike worked in law for about a year. After a year he quit his job and became a courier. He lived in some crappy apartment, working his lousy job, dreaming of being a powerful lawyer. When it didn't happen, Mike decided to sell everything he owned, max out his credit cards, go to Las Vegas, gamble all his money away and then kill himself. So off to Las Vegas it was. But Mike didn't kill himself. Sure he tried, but all he ended up with was a bump on the head a whopping bill from the Las Vegas nut-house. Mike came back and moved into his parents basement. Mike's now almost 40 years old his most recent job was as a billing clerk for a trucking company, working the graveyard shift.
Mike never tried hard at anything, he just coasted through life. He is a classic goof-off. If he has to work, or do anything other than play, he just rushes through it; does the bare minimum. Mike insults other people and has almost no consideration for anyone except himself.
Mike can't understand why no one respects him.

If you can help explain to Mike why this is, just send me an email and I'll pass it on to him.

Not feeling well? Need some healing? Low on "life force"?
Your answer is here: The Answer

You can now email MrBloodyDiapers! If you have a question and you need an answer, just ask MrBloodyDiapers.
I'm so fucking smart that I can answer just about any question you have.

Or if you just want to chat, send me a message. I want to hear from all you freaks.
So if you're into analism, or fart sex, email me.
If you were raised by Mon and Uncle-Dad, email me.
If you make you living by eat your own feces for the amusement of others, email me.
Or, if you just a regular person walking around with blood soaked diapers like myself, email me.

"Are you a Door's fan?"
That is a horrible question because no matter how you answer it, the answer will perpetuate the conversation. The guy, (it's almost always a guy), who asked you the question will either want to know why you don't like "the most amazing, philosophical band ever", or why they aren't you favorite band.

I'll let all you guys who walk around worshipping Jim Morrison as a 20th century Philosopher-Poet-God in on a little secret. The Doors weren't that good a band, their lyrics are laughable as poetry, and Jim Morrison was an idiot.

First lets examine them as a band. I don't think that anyone would argue that John Densmore was anything more than a competent drummer or that Robbie Krieger wasn't much beyond an adequate guitar player. Ray Manzarek was pretty good on keyboards, but no genius. And Morrison? He just plain sucked. His voice was abnormally boring. What exactly to do they do as a band that as good or better than anyone else? Nothing.

Next lets look at Morrison's lyrics which were for the most part incoherent unfounded allusions. They aren't good poetry. They're drunked adolesent ramblings that are either trying to sound "mystical" or seemingly lame attempts to get Betty-Sue to let you feel her up under her bra.

Let's take a look at a Doors "epic", "The End":

"This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end of our elaborate plans
The end of everything that stands
The end"

-Ok, we got the point, it's "The End". But only the end of things that stand, apparently things in a reclining position will remain.

"No safety or surprise
The end
I'll never look into your eyes again"

-Exactly who is he talking to? And what does "no safety or surprise" mean?

"Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need of some stranger's hand
In a desperate land"

-No, I cannot "picture what will be so limitless and free", because you haven't told me what the fuck you're talking about. As well, what is "desperately in need"? A person? An animal? Morrison's brain?

"Lost in a Roman wilderness of pain
And all the children are insane
All the children are insane
Waiting for the summer rain
There's danger on the edge of town
Ride the King's highway
Weird scenes inside the gold mine
Ride the highway West, baby"

-Now this is total gibberish. And not even interesting gibberish. Who the hell are these insane children and why are they waiting for the rain. The next three lines after the rain don't seem to have anything to do with eachother, and no connection is made to the concept of "The End" of things that stand introduced at the beginning of the song.

"Ride the snake
Ride the snake
To the lake
To the lake

The ancient lake, baby
The snake is long
Seven miles
Ride the snake

He's old
And his skin is cold
The West is the best
The West is the best
Get here and we'll do the rest"

-What the fuck? Time for a little poetry lesson. Good poets often maintain some sort of subject continuity in their poems. Not only does it make the information that the poem is attempting to communicate intelligible to the reader, it also often makes it more interesting to read.

"The blue bus is calling us
The blue bus is calling us
Driver, where are you taking us?"

-So we've gone from "the end" to insane children, to the snake and the lake, to talking busses. Now children, I hope you understand to what extent drugs and alcohol can destroy your mind.

"The killer awoke before dawn
He put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall

He went into the room where his sister lived
And then he paid a visit to his brother
And then he walked on down the hall
And he came to a door
And he looked inside
Father
Yes son?
I want to kill you
Mother, I want to. . ."

-You know what? I've read Freud too. Who gives a fuck?

"C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
C'mon baby, take a chance with us
And meet me at the back of the blue bus"

-It appears that Mr. Morrison liked to bang chicks aboard talking busses. Fascinating.

"This is the end, beautiful friend
This is the end, my only friend
The end

It hurts to set you free
But you'll never follow me

The end of laughter and soft lies
The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end"

-Ahhh, Mr. Morrison has brought us full circle. We start and begin with "the end". How clever. Well, what good at this part of the song is that it is infact the end of the song. So what have we learned? You certainly don't have to have any talent or exercise any effort in order to impress 15 year old boys with your song lyrics. This song is good instruction if you wish to write self-indulgent, trite garbage. Booze and drugs don't necessarily make you a better song writer. The question we face now is, was this Mr. Morrison's intention when writing this song, or was he really that stupid?

Anyways, I'll leave you with this; the next time some punk, moron on the subway decides to ask you "Are you a Door's fan?" do yourself a favor and just punch him in the face.

I've been reading some "Blogs of Note" from the Blogger home page.

I checked out "The Island Chronicles". It about some family that moved from LA to the middle of fucking nowhere
in the South Pacific. They brought their kids with them. This all sounds like an excellent idea. No doubt they'll be
divorced within 2 years. Anyone know a good lawyer in Rarotonga?

Next I checked out "MBA Admissions Wire". Let me tell you what a thrill that was to read. Some jerkwad's adventures in how to
become a fascist. Hope you practised your blood sucking fucker.

Then I took a look at "Matrix Essays". The only thing more pathetic than that blog was the fact that I actually spent about 2 minutes
reading the crap posted there. Talk about not having a goddamn life.

I finally found something worth reading when I got to "Coherence Engine" blog. This guy actually has some interesting things to write about.

But the worst, the absolute worst blog I came across was alexthegirl.com. This person is either brain damaged, or is everything that is wrong
with the world. This person is why we need an international revolution; to root out the brainless, inane carbon blobs that ruin the world for the
rest of us by doing things like voting Republican, or encouraging Oprah.

Watching people on the subway this morning as I made my way to work I could only conclude that there are people in this world who believe that the terms "family reunion" and "gang-bang" are synonyms.

I wonder about things, like most people do. I wonder about people like you, people who read this blog. I ride the bus and wonder if you're
like me. Do you love flowers and fluffy slippers? Or are you the kind of person who makes that smell that stinks up the hallway in my building.
You know the smell; it's as if someone is frying chicken in gasloine. Or maybe you make that noise. That noise down the hall that sounds like someone
is sawing a gorilla in half with a French horn. Is that you? Do you like the pleasures in life that your Mastercard can't buy?
Do you like to watch children play or the sun, as it rises or sets?
Or are you the kind of person who drinks their own urine? Maybe you dream of your mother laughing at you while your rectum bleeds.
Maybe you like to crap your pants because the feeling of your own shit pressed against your ass gives you a hard on.
Maybe you like it wet and chunky.
Or maybe you lie awake at night unable to get the taste of your own feces licked right from your father's penis, out of your mouth.

If you do any of these things then you're not like me at all. You're more like my friend Skippy Stalin.

What's really amazing about this whole, "did the President lie to the nation about Iraq" crap is that people, (the media), are acting like it's news.
Did the President lie? Did those who work in his administration lie? Did the media lie? I think the answer to all three questions is yes.
First lets define "lie". I will accept "something that misleads or deceives" as an accurate definition.

Several of Mr. Bush's statements have been at best misleading, and at worst totally untrue. Lets look at an outright lie first.
On January 29th 2002 during his State of the Union address Mr. Bush made the following statement:
"This is a regime that agreed to international inspections -- then kicked out the inspectors."
The regime that he was talking about was Iraq. This statement is a total lie. Iraq did not "kick out" UN weapons inspectors.
They withdrew from Iraq when Bill Clinton decided to bomb Iraq to divert attention from his impending impeachment back in 1998.
This lie was echoed several times by the media and became something that seemingly everyone believes. Now it is true that
Iraq wasn't egar to let the inspectors back into their country, but wouldn't you have reservation if you ran Iraq given that the
American government admitted that they were using the inspections as a cover to spy on Iraq?
*(Rumsfeld repeated this lie to a congressional committee).

In Bush's speech of March 17th 2003 he stated:
"We have sent hundreds of weapons inspectors to oversee the disarmament of Iraq. Our good faith has not been returned. "
What "good faith"? The American government admitted to using the inspections to spy. That's good faith?

In Bush's January 28th 2003 State of the Union address he stated:
"Saddam Hussein aids and protects terrorists, including members of Al Qaida"
This have never been proven. Infact it is known that Al Quida member have been in Iraq in 2002, but they were in Kurd controlled Iraq.
This is hardly evidence that Hussein protected any members of Al Qaida.

Rumsfeld told a hearing of the Senate's appropriations subcommittee on defense on May 14th 2003:
"I don't believe anyone that I know in the administration ever said that Iraq had nuclear weapons."

Dick Cheney told Meet The Press on March 16th 2003:
"We believe he has, in fact, reconstituted nuclear weapons."

Sounds like our friends in the Bush administration have a belief problem.


What all this (and countless other examples) demonstrate is pattern of manipulation and deceit.

So the American nation is lied too. Young American men and women are sent to Iraq to blow the hell out of that country.
After the hell is blow out of that country, the Americans are left there to be and one or two is killed everyday.
Meanwhile the economy is falling apart and America is finding itself more and more alienated from it's former allies.

But it's ok. Mr. Bush is going to fix the economy by eliminating the dividend tax, and everyone in Iraq will fall in love with
peace and democracy in no time.
And if he doesn't get re-elected, I'm sure his daddy's friends on the Supreme Court will appoint him...again.

So capitalism is a pile of shit; I'm sure this isn't news to you. Markets don't regulate themselves. That's a fantasy that the imperialist overlords try to sell
to you by wrapping it up in bullshit terms like "freedom" and "democracy". Anyone who lives in the USA and believes that they are free to do anything other
than be enslaved by the rich elite is a brainwashed imbecile. The rights guaranteed by the almight constitution are a pathedic tool to shut the masses up.
Let's take "freedom of speech" for example. You think you have freedom of speech? Take a peek at the Sedition Act of 1798 and then think again. But anyways,
back to free markets.

What's more amazing than there are still morons like Robert Novak on TV spouting the virtues of such a hair-brain scheme, is that there are people who
buy it. Where in the world have totally de-regulated markets worked? All over the world enery markets keep being de-regulated and look at what we've gotten.
Higher enery prices for the consumer in each and every example, (just ask the folks in the UK, or Cleveland, or California). Look at what happened in New Zealand
in the 80's and 90's.

What is also remarkable that those leading the charge to this era of globalized free trade, (our friends the Americans), seem to think that they can somehow
package up their wonderful society and export it unimpaired to counties all over the world. What makes them think that capitalism will take on the same form
in other cultures that it has assumed in America? What makes them think that other nations want to be dominated by corporations? Corporations and free markets
are no replacement for social controls or standards. In New Zealand for example, with the creation of free markets and the reduction of their social saftey-net there was also a dramatic rise in crime and
poverty, (as of the late 90's the poverty rate was around 17%, considerably higher than before their capitalist economic revolution). Look at the USA. High crime, little
social saftey net. Every mature Western democracy has socialized medicine and lower crime rates than the USA. Hmmmm...could there be a connection?

Please send all suggestions, comments and questions to mrbloodydiapers@hotmail.com.
Some have suggested Duct tape, but I am unsure as to whether this is the correct answer.

Thank you

MrBloodyDiapers

Please excuse my absence. I got involved with this feltching thing, and well...it's a long story.
Anyways, back to business.

Some of you may be wondering, "Does Mr. Bloody Diapers only think about Hitler when he masturbates?". This is a natural question, and by natural I mean it is
innate in all of us. We are all born asking this question. The answer is yes.

Have you been watching CNN? If you haven't, I understand, they have no credibility left. Last week the braindead drone spewing forth the monotonous corporate
propaganda that they seem to have such an affinity for, stated that no other country in the world eats peanut butter. This is news? First of all, it's wrong. I know for a
fact that in other nations peanut butter is eaten. Second of all who gives a shit?

If you haven't already guessed it, I hate CNN. They are a soapbox for Robert Novak, who is the stupiest person on television. They have "trusted news sources" like
Lou Dobbs. Who can take this jerkwad seriously? He goes on and on about corporate bad guys, like Ken Lay and such. Yet his show is sponsered by Merrill Lynch.
If you don't know about the wonderful people at Merrill Lynch check this out Fraud .

That's it for today. I'm too bloody and disgusted to continue.

So I go to all the trouble of setting this blog up and all I get is shit from Henderson.
What a fucking guy! I don't see him making a blog, or anything else for that matter.
He can go right to HELL!!!! All he does is sit there drawing little phallic symbol after phallic symbol.
Am I suppose to be listening to this guy? But it's ok, because I've been poisoning him for months.

What the fuck?